Innocence
by Ninot
Summary: Every place she had driven through had some memory or the other of them and it had ripped her apart. Somehow she had found herself in front of the church. She had sat there, not sure why, thinking about that fateful night that had changed their lives forever, wishing that she had said yes, so that it would be her he was marrying today not somebody else. EXPLORES THEMES OF ADULTERY.
1. Chapter 1 The Stuff Of Nightmares

For the hundredth time that night Peyton slammed her head back against the pillow. It had been like that the whole night, tossing and turning, going over everything over and over in her mind and at the end of the day it all came up to one thing, one name Lucas! She couldn't get him out of her mind, and she had tried, very hard. She had done the whole ice cream, alcohol and even the cheesy movies in the middle of the night but all it had made her do was think about him more and more. He was getting married today, to somebody who wasn't her as Haley had been so kind to point out the day before. For some reason as the hours ticked by it seemed to be more real. She just found it so hard to believe that she and Lucas wouldn't be spending their lives together like they had originally planned. Every day for the past four years she woke up hoping and feeling like this was all a dream or a sick joke. But no such luck, this was her life now, life without Lucas.

That thought was unbearable. It made her sick to her stomach, literally. She scrambled off the bed as she rushed to the bathroom and for the fourth time that night found herself sticking her head to the toilet. She couldn't deal with this, there was no way this was real. But deep down she knew it was and as reality set in the sickness only grew.

'P. Sawyer you okay?' Brooke shouted through the bathroom door. She had come in to tell her about the dress only to for her eyes to come into view of a slamming door.

'I'm okay.' Came a muffled reply through the door right before a horrible choked retching. Brooke shuddered. Oh but the wonderful wonders of alcohol. Peyton had been a bit drunk at the end of the night last night, but she hadn't thought that she was that bad.

'Well you better take a shower while you are in there otherwise we are gonna be late for the wedding.

'It starts at noon Brooke, that's hours away. Besides I'm not going!' she moaned.

'Yes you are Peyton Elizabeth, and you are going to look fabulous in the dress that I made especially for you. And you are going to show Lucas Scott exactly what he gave up. His a dick' She said sternly. She jumped back when the door was suddenly flung open.

'You want me to go to my ex-fiance's wedding so that I can witness him saying I do to another woman?' she asked incredulously. She couldn't even stand the thought of it. It made her want to throw up all over again.

'Well technically he wasn't really your fiancé was he?' 'Bitch!' it always amazed her how she always forgot that Peyton was always crabby first thing in the morning.

'Okay, maybe when he sees you there he will finally realize that his making a huge mistake and you are the one he is meant to be with and if not, seeing him get married will finally give you that closure that you need.' She amended.

'Your logic really sucks!' Brooke reared back as the door slammed in her face. Seconds later it was yanked open. 'Why do you even want me to go so bad?' she frowned at her, her hands on her hips glaring at her. 'Cause it will be so much fun, we can make fun of Lindsey and you can steal Luke back.' She said cheerfully, too cheerful.

'Steal him back? You can't steal someone who doesn't want to be stolen Brooke, and he has made it very clear on more than one occasion that he doesn't want to be 'stolen' or otherwise it would be me wearing that dress right now.'

'But you do still want him back?' 'Of course I do, but that's beside the point. I have done nothing but fight for him ever since I got back but he doesn't want me.' She said distraught and Brooke scoffed. 'If you think that then you are as stupid as he is, and one thing I know about you my dear Sawyer is that you are not stupid. You just have to show him that you are serious about wanting him and that he belongs with you.' Peyton sighed. She loved Brooke's optimism, she really did, but when it came to her relationship with Luke, any optimism she had ever had, had vanished. What if she ended doing something that made Lucas hate her, that she couldn't cope with.

'Don't you think I have tried?' she said defeated. 'I'm tired Brooke, I can't force him to be with me.' 'See that's not the attitude to have when you are trying to win back the love of your life.' She pointed out. 'Leave it Brooke. I can't go to his wedding. I don't want to see him pledge to love somebody else forever not just in front of everyone, but in front of god as well. I just can't. Seeing him say I do, will ruin me. So I'm not going.' She closed the door and started the shower signalling the end of the conversation. Brooke blinked several times trying to banish the tears that were threatening to fall.

'Oh Peyton what am I going to do with you?' she thought to herself. She didn't realize it but she needed to go to the wedding, to be able to let go if nothing else. Because she truly believed that unless she actually saw him get married she would never be able to truly let him go. And the way things were going she needed to let him go otherwise she was in for a life time of heartache. She sighed and went down stairs to start on breakfast. Peyton came down twenty minutes later dressed in black shorts; a rolling stones t-shirt and red converse shoes. Her hair was tied in a messy pony tail and she looked like the teenage Peyton again. 'I'm going for a drive.' She said swiping her keys and a ripe looking pear. 'No you are not!' Brooke said firmly, slapping the bottom of Peyton's hand and sending the pear flying. She caught it mid air and put it back in the fruit basket.

'What the..?' 'I have been slaving over the stove to soak up that alcohol of yours that you decided to down as if you had a tank for a stomach and you are gonna eat the breakfast that I made for you.' she said sternly placing a plate full of waffles and scrambled eggs in front of her accompanied by a cup of freshly brewed coffee. Peyton went for the coffee first, she really didn't feel like eating but then judging by the look on Brooke's face not eating wasn't an option. Besides she never really felt herself till she had a dose of coffee. She watched as Brooke pulled a chair opposite her and smiled at her brightly. Peyton stared at her in confusion. Something was up, when she smiled that brightly first thing in the morning even for her, something was up.

'And then maybe you can tell me why you were making out with my high school boyfriend yesterday. Twice!' she held out her fingers for emphasis. 'Oh shit.' She muttered under her breath pushing her plate aside. But apparently it was loud enough for Brooke to hear. 'Yeah...shit, so you wanna tell me what that was about?' she dropped her head on the counter. No, she really didn't want to explain. For a moment there she had completely forgotten about chase. Double crap. 'It was nothing I promise we were both drunk.' She said instead. 'Didn't look like nothing.' 'He was just trying to make Luke jealous and then you.' 'Really?' she said as it finally dawned on her what Peyton had really said.

'Do you really care?' 'No...Yes...no I'm with Owen now, so no I don't care.' Peyton didn't believe her, the way she had jumped at her about their kiss was no way a person who didn't care would. 'He still cares just in case you do actually care.' She turned and grabbed her keys and pretended not to see Brooke's sparkle of curiosity. She heard her shout that she didn't as she got out of the door. Peyton smiled to herself. Of course she didn't but right now she didn't have time to think about that, she was going for a drive to clear her head, to figure out what she was going to do next since the reason for her being here had suddenly vanished. As she drew her car off the driveway her thoughts were once again drawn to the previous night.

After her little argument with Haley she had gone back to the bar and told Skillz to keep them coming, and that she had and she had knocked them back one after the other none stop. She couldn't remember much after that. The next thing she knew she was outside leaning against chase. 'Heeeyy' she had slurred at him. He had just looked down at her amused. 'Having fun?' 'em Yeah loads.' She said between drunken hiccups.'You are a lousy drunk sawyer.' 'I'm not drunk.' She shook her head in denial but that didn't turn out to be a good idea as immediately her head began spinning. 'Oh.' She tilted almost losing her balance. Chase's arms had shot out to catch her before she fell. 'Easy there tiger. What happened when I left you with Haley?' his amusement quickly turned to concern. He didn't know Peyton that well but from what he knew about her she didn't seem like the type to get absolutely plastered. 'She is a bitch.' She said stumbling away from him to lean against the railing.

'Riiigghht.' He drawled following her. 'I assume this is about Luke?' it didn't take a genius to know that the girl was still in love with him. As soon as he said the name her face dissolved into tears. 'Oh no no no, I didn't mean to upset you.' he didn't do well with women in tears, they always unnerved him. 'He is getting married tomorrow and not to me!' she whined before she collapsed into heart wrenching sobs. Chase's eyes widened and he released a string of curses that would have made his grandmother was out his mouth with soap. He should have just kept his mouth shut that's what he should have done. but oh no he had to open his mouth and try to be all sensitive... look how well that turned out. He looked to Brooke for help but she was busy making out with Owen.

Peyton could feel herself losing control, that's the one thing she hated about being drunk, the loss of control. She lifted her eyes up to apologize to chase he planted his lips on hers. She froze shocked all the alcohol leaving her brain immediately. 'Errmmm, huh...' she chuckled nervously silently begging him to explain. 'Lucas is looking, 3 o'clock.' He explained. She turned around and her eyes met Luke's disapproving ones. 'Yeah.' Chase nodded smiling at her.

They started walking following slowly behind Brooke and Owen. Peyton watched him as he watched them. She wasn't the only one who had it really bad. 'You miss her.' she pointed out. He looked at her blankly and she pointed at Brooke. He nodded in understanding'.

'Everyday.' He said softly. 'I'm sorry.' She took his hand and squeezed it comfortingly. She knew hard it was to see somebody you couldn't get out of your mind. She would imagine that it would be doubly hard if the person they moved on with was your best friend. She didn't know what prompted her, whether it was the alcohol or something else but when Brooke stopped and looked their way she took his face in her hands and kissed him.

Later she would blame it all on the alcohol. This time it was he who froze and looked at her questioningly. 'Brooke was looking.' She explained and he nodded smiling at her softly. 'We are quite a pair you and I.' He took her hand again as they followed their best friends. She remembered throwing up a lot and not a lot after that. The next thing she knew she had been home in her bed.

Lucas smiled as he gave himself a final once over. He was getting married in less than an hour to the woman he loved. He should be happy, he was happy yet he still felt like there was something missing. 'Ready?' Nate offered him his jacket to put on. Yeah.' He smiled at his brother through the mirror. 'You sure you wanna do this.' Nate asked the question that every best man was supposed to ask his groom right before the wedding, only in his case he really meant it.

'Of course I do, after today I will be the happiest man on earth.' He smiled bashfully with such conviction that Nathan also believed him and hoped that it was true.

'Who would have thought six years ago that we would all be here?' He met his brother's eyes through the mirror which is why he was able to see the shadow that passed over his brother's eyes. Nathan sighed; he hoped it wasn't because of what he thought it was.

'Yeah well, its funny how things change, but I would say they have changed for the best.' He said brightly and for a moment Nathan wasn't sure who he was trying to convince. 'Really? You are on your own there cause I would say that my marriage being on the verge of a collapse is not 'for the best' as you so kindly put it.' Luke's face immediately fell in regret.

'I'm sorry man, I didn't think.' Nathan shook his head telling him not to worry about it. He tried to laugh it off but it just came out hollow and empty. 'How is that going anyway?' She's still not talking to me, even when I pick up Jamie.' He looked sadly.

'I don't know what else to do, I have done everything I can to fight for her but she is having none of it. I know that she needs time but I guess when she said that she should never have tried to change me and that she should have known I would never change that really got me. I just can't believe that she would readily take that nutter's word over mine just like that, after everything we've been through.' By the time he finished he sounded so angry and so broken that Lucas, a man of many words didn't know what to say to him.

'I'm sorry Nate.' it was all he could say. 'She'll come around' he offered feebly.

'I don't think so Luke, but thanks all the same.' he smiled sadly. 'Now let's not talk about this anymore. It's supposed to be a happy day, your day.' He smiled. Just then there was a knock on Luke's back door. 'Will you get that I need to get the flower thingy for my button hole from the fridge.' Nate chuckled at his brother relieving most of the tension in the room. He opened the door to find the last person he expected to find there, especially today.

'Sawyer?' he asked surprised.

He took in her disheveled appearance, unruly locks falling from her messy pony tail across the forehead.

She was nervous swaying from side to side on the balls of her feet. 'Can I talk to Luke?' she said hoarsely.

She had been crying. His heart went out to her. 'You sure that's a good idea?' he didn't, he knew how this would end, with her in tears and more heartbroken than she was now, if that was even possible. If there was one thing that he knew about his brother, it was that when he decided that he loved somebody, he bent over backwards proving it and poured his heart and soul into it, and right now he had decided that he loved Lindsey, which didn't spell good news for Peyton. 'I need to talk to him' Peyton wasn't really sure what she was doing here, even more what she was going to say to him when she saw him.

When she had left home she had driven around aimlessly with the top down trying to avoid anything that had to do with Lucas Scott, but all she had managed to be think of nothing but him. Talk about getting your own front row seat to a movie down memory lane.

Every place she had driven through had some memory or the other of them and it had ripped her apart.

Somehow she had found herself in front of the church. She had sat there, not sure why, thinking about that fateful night that had changed their lives forever, wishing that she had said yes, so that it would be her he was marrying today not somebody else.

She had stared at the doors endlessly and seen herself and Lucas smiling with all their friends around them, ecstatically happy...and married. Another car had honked furiously behind her snapping her out of her day dream that would never ever be, unless she did something about it. That's how she had found herself here, in front of his house. 'Sawyer...?' 'Nate asked seeming shocked.

'What's taking you so long? Who's at the door?' Luke asked coming behind him.

He stopped short when he realized who it was exactly at the door. Blue eyes clashed with green fiercely, Peyton's pleading and Luke's defiant as they were sent tumbling back into the tunnels of the past. 'What do you want?' Luke was the first one to snap out of it. He wasn't going to do this with her, especially not today. He was done with the past cause all it ever did was hurt him.

He didn't want to hurt anymore, and Lindsey offered him that world, one that was free of heartache.

'Hey Luke.' She tilted her head to her side the way she always did when she was nervous. He couldn't fail to notice her red rimmed swollen eyes she had been crying. Yet even with the bags under her eyes she still looked as beautiful as ever. He faltered, he could tell her to walk or he could ask her to come in and have her say, giving them both the closure they needed. He stepped aside and let her in. Nathan excused himself saying that he was going to bring the car around. He squeezed Peyton's shoulder in encouragement.

Lucas watched her as she walked around his bedroom. He couldn't help but remember the times she used to walk around like that in nothing but his t-shirt. He shook the mental image out of his head and looked at her now as she ran a hand over the pictures of his friends and family, but not quite touching them. When she came to Lindsey's she froze and her hand dropped to her side. 'What are you doing here Peyton?' he repeated harshly. She spun around facing him eyes wide. She opened her mouth to say something but nothing came out.

'You look good.' She finally said.

'Peyton...?' he barked impatiently causing her to jump and he immediately regretted it. She bowed her head and wouldn't look at him. He sighed running his hands through his hair impatiently, there was no point to this and he was about to tell her that when she looked up at him fresh tears streaming down her cheeks. 'You can't marry her.' she whispered through her sobs. He reared back as if she had struck him.

He didn't know what he had expected, but not this?

'What, why?' He queried impatiently.

'Because I love you.' She stated sincerely.

'I love Lindsey.'

'And I think you love me too.' She continued as if he hadn't spoken at all.

'Which is why you can't marry her Luke...marry me instead.' She clutched her hands to his chest desperately. He never wanted to see her like this, no matter what had happened between them, he had never wanted to see her like this.

'You said no Peyton, I asked you and you said no!'

'And I wish I had said yes Luke, I wake up every day wishing that I had said yes so that it would be you and me that were getting married today. But Luke if you do this the pain i'm feeling right now it's gonna get worse. And I can't do worse Luke okay...I didn't even think there was a worse' How many times had he wished for that? The two of them married just like he had envisioned since eighth grade. But she had squashed that dream with one single word. He didn't even realize that it was the first time they argued about it and she didn't say that she didn't say no, she said someday.

'But you didn't, now it's too late' He said coldly. 'No, no don't say that...please' She shook her head vehemently walking towards him. 'It's not too late Luke.' She took his face in her hands forcing him to look at her. When their eyes met, he felt the magnetizing pull that had always drawn him to her. He stared into those hypnotizing green pools and felt himself spiraling back into the past.

He mentally shook himself; he was getting married, to Lindsey! So he shouldn't be here!

'Peyton...' he covered her hands with his to release himself but she shook her head no.

'We can leave today, we can go to Vegas and get married, right now, or we can do anything you want, I don't care just please Luke I love you.' She pleaded desperately. Lucas opened his mouth to protest but she covered his lips with hers. She didn't want to give him the chance to reject her. When he didn't pull back she took the chance to deepen the kiss. Luke's mind blanked and all thoughts scrambled in his brain and he couldn't think. Rationally he knew that he shouldn't be doing this that this was wrong on so many levels it was way beyond wrong. But instead of pushing her away his hands snaked her around her and he pulled her close. She ran her tongue on the seam of his lips. He opened his mouth to protest pushing her away but she took the opportunity to thrust her tongue in his mouth.

He groaned as if in pain but he pulled her closer, molding her to him and pretty soon he began to respond, kissing her back, his tongue dueling with hers. A moan rang out between them, she wasn't sure whether it was him or her, she really didn't care.

All she knew was that it felt like coming home...she was home, right where she belonged. It was him and her again, the way it was supposed to be. There was a sound from somewhere in the room which caused them to spring apart. It was Nathan clearing his throat. They stared at each other in shock, Lucas not sure what exactly had happened or what had come over him, while Peyton couldn't believe what had happened and hoped that he wouldn't do the same thing he did the other time in his office.

'Am I interrupting something?' Nathan asked looking from Lucas's messy hair to Peyton's swollen lips.

'No.' Luke ground out running a hand over his hair trying to smooth it down.

He let out a string of curses. He couldn't believe how stupid he had been. What the hell had he been thinking? The whole point of letting her in was so that they finally sort things out and shut that chapter of their lives once and for all, but what the hell had he gone and done? He might as well have gashed new ones with a blunt knife. He punched out the walls in anger and frustration making both Nathan and Peyton jump.

'Luke!' they both gasped out simultaneously. He was mad, furious even, At himself for letting this happen and at Peyton for coming here, for saying no in the first place, setting this whole thing in motion.

'Get out!' he barked turning to her ignoring the pain in his knuckles.

'Luke.' Nathan reprimanded his brother but Lucas ignored him. His eyes were on Peyton the whole time. She looked as if he had just shattered her whole world. And he just had. 'Luke please...' She whispered trying again stepping forward and looking somewhat like a puppy getting sent away from their master.

She wasn't going to give him up without a fight. But when he flinched as if she scalded him, she knew that was it, for good this time. If he had taken a bullet to her heart, that would have hurt less. 'Just go.' He said coldly, his face emotionless. Just then she didn't recognize him at all.

She looked at him, searching his eyes for any sign of the man she loved, the man who had promised to love her forever, wait for her, and she couldn't find him.

The eyes that used to bring her peace and tranquility by just looking at her now sent a chill down her spine and brought with them nothing but anguish.

She studied him trying to memorize his features then realized that she didn't want to remember this man, not him. The man she wanted to remember was the man who would just look at her and she would know that everything was alright in her world, the man who would kiss her and she would feel like she could do anything, be anyone. Not this man. She gave him one final look, his image blurry through her film of tears before walking out of his life.

When she was out the door she ran, ran until she was out of the his house and resting on the brick wall beside it. And then she let loose letting out a silenced scream of anguish and letting the hot tears fall.

* * *

A/N: Please read and REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW! I hope you like this fic its called Innocence. Definitely a fic for the summer. This story explores the theme of Adultery.

LeytonFan4Eva x


	2. Chapter 2 Fate

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* * *

Fate was as cruel as death, which was something Lucas knew first hand. They were the demons in his life, the ones that held onto his neck so tight they squeezed the air out of him. Yet he figured that at least fate would get tired of suffocating, that its clutches would numb. Love was like that; when it got in its strongest, it always weakened and eventually let go. Even so, love was powerful, but fate was unstoppable.

Lucas stood in the mirror, looking himself over. He was dressed down in a black Selected Homme Wedding Suit Jacket with Stretch. It was the perfect day for a wedding, The weather was the kind that felt like a kiss of summer without the fiery heat of noon time in August. The grass was a soft green that almost has a hint of blue and in the sky was enough pristine white cloud to show everyone how beautiful the sky was, how perfect.

He let out a pained sigh and removed himself from his line own of vision. He couldn't stop replaying what had happened with Peyton earlier out of his head.

After she had left, he had done much thinking. Much revolving around whether what he was doing was right. Part of him felt wracked with guilt, he never wanted it to be this way. Her distraught expression would forever be engraved into his mind's eye. He tried to force himself not to think of her, but that made him think of her more.

He rubbed his thumb against his full rosy lips and squeezed his eyes shut in a lame attempt to wipe his mind clean of that kiss ever happening. But no matter what he did nothing helped. If anything he was hit with a full montage of what they had once been, every stolen kiss. Every touch.

The first time they spoke.

God, she had been such a bitch. But he knew now it was just a defense mechanism.

'You ready man' he hadn't been expecting the sudden disruption and it made him jump out of his skin. 'He looked up to be met with eyes the lightest shade of teal like the sea floor in which you could be swimming in right this second. The carbon copy of his eyes.

He mustered up a force grin, as he nodded his confirmation to his dark haired younger brother before standing to his full height of five eleven and following him out the premdor oak door. At last Fate, like an overtried mother who is sick of giving gentle hints to unheeding children, brought down her hand heavily upon him.

* * *

Brooke slowly unfolded herself out of her car. It looked like almost everyone was here.

She immediately spotted Skillz, Mouth and Millicent leaning against the back of Skillz car. 'What's up, don't have a date?' Skills half teased looking behind her. 'Ha-ha very funny...not! Owen decided to take his buddy Chase my former flame on a camping trip, instead of coming as my date. Who does that?' she fumed.

Skillz smirked knowingly.

'Beer?' he chucked a can at her.

'Wait, your tailgating at Luke's wedding?' it was her turn to smirk. 'Like you don't want one.' she smiled at him and offered the beer to Millie who declined saying that she was the designated driver.

'So where's Peyton at?' He asked the question he was sure the other two wanted to know as well.

'She's not coming.' She stated simply with no explanation. The other two nodded in understanding while Skillz shook his head. 'Damn, well that's too bad.'

'Really and why is that?' she raised her eyebrow up at him awaiting an explanation 'This wedding would have had some much needed drama.'

'Oh I'm glad my friend's misery is a source of amusement for you. She's in a lot of pain Skillz and she's barely hanging by a thread…show some respect' her lips twisted in disapproval and Skillz immediately felt bad.

'That's not what I meant, you know I love P Sawyer, I do, but I never thought that she would just sit by and watch the man she loves marry another.' Brooke agreed with him hundred percent but one thing she knew about was fighting for somebody who didn't love you back, it was exhausting and futile and left you as a wreck. 'Besides if she turns up, maybe Luke will finally come to his senses and snap out of it.' Brooke let out a breathy laugh.

'I thought you liked Lindsey?' she queried.

'I do, and so do you, but we both love Sawyer and we know who she belongs with don't we?' he smirked arrogantly.

'Yeah well, maybe we were wrong, all of us.' she whispered.

She had been wrong when she thought that Luke loved her in high school, maybe she was wrong about him loving Peyton as well.

'Maybe we can kidnap Lindsey and put Sawyer in the dress and when Luke lifts the veil, bam, it's on.' They all burst in hysterics with Brooke swatting him gently on the arm.

'Or maybe she could come in just when they are asking if there is anyone who objects to the wedding...and bam that's her queue.'

'Skillz I don't think they do that in real weddings.' Brooke pointed out and Skillz's face fell in mock disappointment. 'Well dang, how are we gonna stop this wedding then?' he whined. For a moment he looked like Jamie when he wasn't getting his way that Brooke had to smile. Those two hung out way too much together. 'We are not, if this is what Luke really wants, he seems really happy, so we should be happy for him.'

'Do you really believe that coz I think it's a truck load of bullshit' Of course she didn't believe it, but it wasn't like she was going to tell him that. What would be the point? There was nothing they could do about it. The one person who could have done something about it had failed and the other didn't want to do something about it, and she prayed that her best friend would be able to let go and finally move in some day.

'Alright wise guy, come on let's go...' she pulled him and they headed for the church.

'You know what else would be totally awesome?' He said mimicking the typical TV cheerleader voice as they entered the chapel. Brooke chuckled.

'No, but I'm sure you are about to tell me.'

'...if Luke said the wrong name at the altar, like Ross in friends.' He said excitedly his eyebrows inching up comically. Brooke laughed again.

'Give it up Skillz, this wedding is happening whether you like it or not.' She led him towards the front pew.

'I was just...'

'Well don't.' Brooke said sharply. She winced as she saw Skillz shrink back into himself. She hadn't meant to sound so harsh but then she wasn't going to apologize for it either coz she really didn't want to talk about it anymore.

This day was going to be hard enough as it is without indulging on stupid fantasies and what if's. She needed to be strong for Peyton because she was already a mess as it was and after today she was sure that she would be completely obliterated.

It wasn't soon after they sat down that Luke and Nathan came in standing at the altar. Five minutes later with everyone sitting down the wedding march started. Lily walked in throwing rose petals in the air. Brooke smiled, she had to. Lily looked too cute, it just reminded her and reinforced her own dreams. Haley walked in after Lily, she was smiling her eyes roaming around the chapel, taking in everyone, but when those eyes landed on Nathan the smile disappeared to nothing but a strained stretch of her lips.

Brooke sighed as she realized that she hadn't talked with her friend in a while.

She was so busy trying to stop Peyton from crumbling that she had lost touch with everything else. She wasn't complaining, it just felt like she was neglecting everything and everyone else. She knew about Haley's marriage problems but what she didn't know about was how she was feeling, or how she was doing, and she felt bad about that. She was yanked out of her thoughts by the arrival of Lindsey.

Her head turned simultaneously with everyone else's. Her breath hitched and the first thing she thought was it was a good thing Peyton wasn't here. Lindsey looked...amazing, definitely not how you wanted the woman who was marrying the love of your life looking.

She looked at Lucas who was grinning from ear to ear like a cat who'd gotten the cream. Maybe they all had been wrong after all; maybe he really was in love with Lindsey instead of Peyton.

To say that he had been nervous would have been the understatement of the century. He had huge butterflies in his stomach doing the rumba and had felt literally sick to his stomach.

Then he had remembered the anger he had felt right before they left his house and it had simmered right up again extinguishing all the butterflies in one fell swoop.

Nathan had asked him moments ago if he was really sure that he wanted to go through with this because once he said I do there was no taking it back, that was it. Luke had assured him that he wouldn't want to be taking it back. Nathan had gone on to lecture him about the sanctity of marriage blah blah. Luke had laughed telling him that was what the priest was for and what he wanted right now was his brother, his best man.

But as he wondered into the church he found his eyes wondering, and he told himself sternly that he was not looking for her. His eyes landed on Brooke who smiled tightly at him. Before he had the chance to wonder whether she wasn't here at all, or maybe she was but sitting somewhere else the double doors opened and right in the middle stood Lindsey.

His breath stopped, she looked so beautiful, more beautiful than he had ever seen her. At that moment everything was right, like it belonged and he had never been surer that he was doing the right thing. And also at that moment blind panic hit him, he was getting married...today...to Lindsey.

What the hell was he doing? This wasn't how things were supposed to be? Could he really marry her while he still had unfinished business with another woman? He looked around desperately, searching for clarity, any sign that he was doing the right thing, that this would work out. His eyes finally landed on Lindsey as she walked towards him.

When she smiled at him, winking at him secretly, he was reminded again why he loved her. He could see it in her eyes; she was completely in love with him. He smiled back at her his faith restored. Peyton Sawyer was in the past and Lindsey was the future, that was all there was to it. As the priest began, Lindsey took his hands in her and squeezed them reassuringly. His eyes snapped up and clashed with hers, and those doubts crept up again.

Was he doing the right thing? Was this what he really wanted? He had kissed Peyton, more than once and he couldn't forget what she had said to him this morning.

Could he just forget about her and marry someone else right now? His eyes roamed the church once more and he came up more confused than before.

'...not be joined in matrimony, speak now or forever hold your peace...' the pastor was saying but Lucas wasn't listening. Just then the old church wooden doors groaned open and right in the middle stood the cause of all the confusion. And for a second it was like everything moved in slow motion. She looked...beautiful, angelic in the green short dress that he was sure complimented her eyes and she had most definitely outshone the woman in white on her own wedding day. She stood there starring right at him, as if seeing right through him, right into his soul. It was haunting.

He stood there waiting, like everyone else, waiting for her to say something, anything. He felt a new wave of emotions churn inside him...anger, disappointment...hope?

Brooke twisted around along with everyone else as the door opened. 'Oh no.' she gasped in dismay seeing her best friend. ' _Please Peyton don't do this, anything but this'_ she thought to herself. She sent a silent message to her friend. She wanted her friend to get her man she really did, but not this way.

At this point things had already gone too far, it was up to Lucas now.

'Yeah! I knew it! Go sawyer!' Skillz punched the air triumphantly next to her. Everybody waited looking between Lindsey's rigid body to Peyton's frozen one. Peyton sucked in shaky breath, eyes wide and opened her mouth to speak...

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A/N: Hey guys here is the update! I hope you enjoy...Will Peyton stop Lucas' wedding or tough it out. Read the next update to find out! I honestly hadn't been expecting so much reviews on the first chapter but I guess that's a good sign right?

LeytonFan4Eva x


	3. Chapter 3 It Hurts

**Guest** \- I hope your not to disappointment but I like a lot of drama in the stories that I write. I hope you enjoy this chapter though. Thanks.

 **PSawyerLove** \- Loving the enthusiasm haha. Hope you enjoy thoroughly.

 **jordana60** \- Heres an update. Do tell me what you think, there is a lot more to come!

 **Guest** \- Haha Yeah I guess you'll have to read more to find out what happens! Thanks for a great review!

 **emaalou** \- Lol your review was what inspired me to write more and update today, I would love to know what you think again. And no looking forward to them sneaking around isn't bad at all, i'm looking forward to writing it.

 **Elena** \- Thanks.

 **TPassions** \- Thank you.

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Peyton froze. Everybody's eyes seemed to be on her and for the life of her she didn't seem to get her feet to obey her command to move! Talk about bad timing. She had known that when she got here the service would have started, but she had hoped that she could just slip in and sit at the back and when the ceremony was finished, she would just slip out again and no one would be none the wiser.

Stupid ancient chapel doors! When was the last time that anybody had fixed them anyway? Now everybody was starring at her including the bride and groom. She opened her mouth to speak but nothing came out. What was she going to say anyway? What explanation did she have? Her eyes landed on Luke. He looked confused, angry? Well what else was new? He seemed to be angry at her all the time lately.

What was she even doing here? She was obviously a fan of punishment and heartbreak at the hands of the blonde, otherwise she, like anybody with any sense at all, wouldn't be here at all. After the whole fiasco at Luke's she had felt like somebody had ripped out her heart and crushed it. All she had done all the way home was cry her eyes out which would explain the swelling and the redness just in case anyone asked.

She had found the dress that Brooke had hung on the back of her door. She had starred at it for hours, going over everything that had happened that day. She had been about to chuck into the bin when she thought...'fuck it.' she had basically humiliated herself when it came to Lucas and basically when it came to her pride regarding Lucas Scott she was scrapping the bottom of the barrel.

She supposed when it came right down to it, she was here because she wanted to see if he could really do it, could marry someone else who wasn't her, after promising to lover her forever. Because she could never do it, she could never marry someone else who wasn't him.

'Did you have something to say young lady?' the priest was asking her bringing her out of her revere. She sucked in a deep breath trying to quench the feeling of drowning, the immense feeling of panic that was eating her up. Of course she had something she wanted to say...like he shouldn't be doing this! It was supposed to be her up there. If she had known that her saying someday meant she was losing him for good then she would have said yes coz someday was now and she loved him, so much, and she knew he loved her too.

He had to. He couldn't have gotten over her that fast, could he? She lifted up her eyes and met his, searching, looking for any sign that there was still hope for them. For a moment the mask fell and he looked so sad, hurt, his features mirrored her own pained ones. But it was gone in an instant replaced by a granite face that she thought she imagined it.

Lindsey had frozen when the door swung open; she had smiled cynically when she saw who it was, like she had expected it.

She wouldn't lie and say that when she hadn't immediately seen the other woman's face in the pews at the church among the attendees she hadn't been relieved. But she had also been expecting something like this. Wasn't it funny that on the most important day of your life you would expect someone to ruin it? But now as she looked at the man she was about to marry starring intently at his ex-girlfriend she couldn't help but wonder...was this it? The day she had always known was coming but had chosen to ignore? Was this the day that her adversary finally ruined her life? She looked at Luke for answers but his face didn't betray any emotions whatsoever.

Peyton on the other hand looked like she was about to crumble that for a moment Lindsey almost felt sorry for her, but only for a moment.

'Young lady?' the priest queried Peyton again. She shook her head slowly then remembered that he probably couldn't see her because of the distance between them.

'Uhmm – No. I was just running late sorry.' She finally managed to breathe out. She grasped the pew on her right desperately for balance and slid into it sitting down before her legs gave out.

'Alright then lets continue...' after that everything was just a blur. She felt a hand squeeze hers and was surprised to find it was Brooke. She must have slipped next to her without her noticing. Peyton offered her a watery smile of gratitude. She was glad she was here. She didn't hear much after that.

She just sat there, frozen, stoic, numb, looking forward. At some point her turned to look at her and she thought, that was it, he was going to call the whole thing off, but instead, he said I do and so did she. Seconds later they were married – Mr. and Mrs. Scott. She could have said that her heart broke there and then but then again you can't break something that's already in pieces. So she didn't know what it was that she felt at that moment, but whatever it was, it hurt like hell. The organist started playing the wedding march again and they walked down the aisle, smiling broadly at everyone in their way, presenting the perfect image of the happy couple.

As they walked past her Lucas paused and for the fifth time that day their eyes met. Lucas's joy faded momentarily as he looked at her. She used to think that she could read him by just looking at his eyes, but at that moment she had no idea what he was thinking. She looked away just as Lindsey grasped her husband's arm prompting him forward. Husband. That word was like a thousand lashes with a barbed wire on her back. He was a husband now, and not hers.

A wave of fresh new tears stung her eyes but she wouldn't cry, not yet, not while everybody was still here.

She could feel their eyes on her, all of them filled with sympathy, pity and some were filled with curiosity. She should have never sat at the back; she should have just braved it at that time and gone to the front that way she wouldn't see them stare at her now. Better yet she should have never turned up cause all it had done was add more anguish in her life. What did she think she would achieve by turning up here, a side from providing the residents of tree hill with more ammunition for the Peyton saga.

'Peyton?' Brooke shook her lightly after everyone had left, but her friend just sat there frozen, not moving. Brooke was beginning to worry. She had been like this for the past ten minutes.

'He said I do Brooke.' she said finally after a long pause. Brooke's heart sank. She was really starting to wish that she hadn't convinced her into coming. She couldn't even remember her reasoning behind it but she had thought that it would help somehow, but this? This wasn't right.

'I know sweetie.' She said softly, rubbing her arms soothingly. Peyton was still starring forward, not blinking, tears falling freely down her cheeks.

'He said he loved me, he promised, but he couldn't wait. He said he would never leave me, but just like everyone else he left. His a liar' She had turned to her then and Brooke could see the pain, the hurt in her shattered eyes. Brooke let the tears that were stinging her eyes fall. She pulled her friend close and hugged her tightly. They both sat there for what seemed like hours, crying silently, holding each other.

The doors burst open and Millie came crashing in eyes wide with panic. Peyton and Brooke broke apart and swiveled towards her.

'It's Jamie!'

'What about Jamie?' it was Peyton who asked furiously wiping her face smudging her make up along the way as they rushed to her.

'He is missing, we can't find him!'

'Oh no!' Peyton cried out panic welling inside her as she thought of Jamie's little face. Her own drama with Lucas seemed miniscule compared to this and she quickly pushed it to the back of her mind. She and Brooke both rushed outside to find people had already gathered around. Brooke rushed to Nathan who was sobbing uncontrollably. Peyton eyes immediately scoured the crowd searching for Nathan. She heard his voice before she saw him. He was yelling at the police officer. She rushed to him and put her hand on his arm to calm him down.

'These idiots won't do their jobs and help me find my son!' he yelled.

'It's going to be okay Nate.' She wrapped her arms around him as he broke down in tears. He hugged her tight seeking comfort, answers that she wished she had for him.

'We are doing everything we can ma'am.' an officer was saying to her his eyes filled with sympathy. She simply nodded and led Nathan to her car.

'Where is he Sawyer? 'He asked desperately as he finally collapsed on her driver's seat.

'I don't know Nate.' She said softly. 'But he is going to be fine, you will see. He is gotta be.' She assured him while she knew she had no right to make promises like that. The last part was said more to herself than anything. He had to be okay, he was just a kid, didn't know any better. He still had his whole life ahead of him. A scream from Haley brought Nathan bolting upright and within a second he was next to her leaving Peyton to trail behind him.

'What, what is it?' he was grasping Haley's upper arms desperately barely refraining from shaking the answers out of her. She looked at him coldly that he let her go so fast it was as if she burned him.

'Your girlfriend took him.' Her voice was emanating ice chips. Nathan stepped back confused.

'What...?'

'Carrie!' she fired at him furiously. Nathan paled and looked like he was going to be sick.

'How do you...'

'Know? Chuck's mom saw her. She didn't think anything of it coz she used to be our nanny!' she spat at him. Nora, chuck's mom sniffed next to Haley.

'I'm sorry, if I had known...' she trailed off when Haley put a comforting arm around her.

'Its okay Nora, you weren't to know.' She shot an accusatory glance towards her estranged husband. Nathan reared back his eyes blank muttering incoherently to himself.

'Nathan?' Peyton followed him as he stumbled away shaking his head.

'She thinks it's my fault, I can see it in her eyes. She thinks it's my fault that Jamie got taken. And she is right. I brought that lunatic into our lives.' He was rumbling non-stop, he was losing it. Peyton slapped him hard across his cheek startling both of them.

'Sawyer what the hell...?'

'Snap out of it, it's not your fault but you need to keep your head on. Jamie is gonna need you when he gets back.'

'What if he never comes back sawyer, what if she's disappeared with him for good?' he voiced out his deepest fear. Peyton shook her head refusing to even entertain the thought.

The police finally convinced everyone to go home as they continued the search and they all convened at Haley's house. The boys refused to leave saying that they were going to continue with the search.

As she was looking around she couldn't help but notice how many lives the little boy had touched in just a few years. Everybody was silent, no sound heard, all resigned to their own thoughts, praying to whoever they believed in for salvation, for hope that the little boy they all loved so much would be returned to them safe and sound. Her eyes wandered to Haley who was hunched on the couch slowly rocking backwards and forwards, rubbing her temples.

Her heart went out to her and Nathan. She couldn't even begin to imagine what they were going through. What kind of person did that? Stole someone else's child? She couldn't stand this anymore...the waiting, not knowing. Oh God, what it must be like for those two. So she marched into the kitchen and did the only thing that she could to feel like she was doing something. She smiled sadly to herself. She was her mother's daughter after all, making tea whenever there was a crisis.

'Can I help?' asked a timid voice behind her that she knew only too well. She was half tempted to tell her where to go, more than half tempted. But then the little face that flashed in her mind reminded her that what was going on here was way bigger than both of them, bigger than any of her troubles so she tried to smile and said as politely as she could to grab the mugs shocking them both. They worked in silence, neither having nothing to say to the other, nothing the other wanted to hear anyway, but both very aware that they needed to be doing something even if t was trivial otherwise they would go insane.

Everyone looked up as Peyton came in holding a tray full of steaming mugs and closely followed by Lindsey. They seemed almost... civil.

'What the...' Brooke uttered quietly causing Haley to look up probably thinking it was about Jamie. But they didn't have time to ponder the weirdness of it all the front door burst open bringing with the boys. Haley was the first to spring out of her chair rushing toward them.

'Anything? She directed the question to Lucas desperately searching behind them. Lucas glanced at his brother before shaking his head sadly. Haley broke down, her body trembling as sobs wrecked her body. Nathan, his heart breaking for his wife reached out to her but she moved so swiftly out of his reach as if he had scorched her. He felt as f he had been sucker punched in the gut.

'Don't!' she spat at him venomously.

'Haley...' he pleaded reaching for her despite himself, but again just like before she moved away from him as if she couldn't bare for him to touch her, and by the look in her eyes he guessed he was right on the money. His insides twisted as he felt nausea almost over taking him. Maybe it was selfish but they should be coming together at a time like this, comforting each other, praying together for their boy, not fighting each other.

'No!' she ground out angrily pointing an accusing finger at him. 'THIS is your entire fault!'

'Haley...'but she wasn't listening to him, she was practically trembling with fury.

'You brought that psycho into our lives! If you hadn't found this sick fascination with her then none of this would be happening.' Nathan paled all colour leaving his face as his suspicions were confirmed, she did blame him!'

'That's not fair.' Peyton was instantly beside him holding him, which he was grateful for because he suddenly couldn't feel his legs and without her they would have given out.

'You can just shut up right now, cos no one is talking to you!' she turned her anger towards Peyton her eyes blazing. 'Matter of fact I am pretty sure that nobody wants you here.' Peyton paled her shade pretty close to Nathan's. It was her turn to clutch onto Nathan for support. She was tempted to look round to everyone's faces but was scared lest what she saw in their eyes confirmed what the other woman was saying

'Haley!' it was Nathan who warned this time. He understood that she was upset; hell he was just as devastated and scared as she was. But that was no excuse to go attacking their friends. She spun round to him, shooting daggers at him disregarding everybody who was now looking at them.

'If anything happens to my boy, I swear Nathan...' she shook her head and he didn't fail to notice how she referred to him as boy, not theirs 'Nothing is gonna happen to him.' he promised more to himself than her. He had to be okay, his little boy, his entire world.

'You can't know that.' Her hand flew to her mouth to hide the sob that had already escaped. No, he couldn't know that, but he could sure as hell pray. He wasn't an overly religious person but he did believe that there was somebody up there looking out for them and he just hoped that Jamie would be returned to them safe and sound.

'Mama, daddy!' Nathan froze, for a second he thought his mind was playing a cruel joke on him, and then he whirled towards the voice along with everybody else. And there coming round the hallway entrance, was his son, his pride and joy, all smiles running towards them as fast as his little legs could carry him.

'Jamie.' Haley screamed as they both started running for him. Nathan with his long strides reached him first. He scooped him up and clutched him tightly not able to believe his eyes, afraid that if he loosened his arm then he would just disappear into thin air or that this could have been just a dream.

'Daddy I can't breathe' Jamie laughed wriggling for him.

'Give him to me.' Haley clipped snatching him from his father's arms and placing him on the floor. 'You okay kiddo?' she pattered him down checking for any broken bones, anything. Everybody rallied around them expressing their joy at the safe return of the boy they had all been worried about.

'I'm okay mama, honest.'

'I'm just checking.' She said pulling him into a tight hug, tears of gratitude and fear of what might have been.

'Buddy, how did you get here?' Lucas asked crouching in front of him. This day had nearly, almost turned into the worst day in his life, right there with the day he lost Keith. He couldn't bear to lose anybody else.

'Grandpa Dan brought me; he saved me from Nanny Carrie.' He said so innocently unaware that everybody in the room hated the man who was now standing n the middle of the room. Lucas and Haley slowly rose both standing and flanking Nathan looking at the man in question.

'See, I told you so.' He said triumphantly pointing to his new hero. Everybody froze looking at Dan with the coldest eyes they could manage. They had all loved Keith and that...man there had taken him away from them. Lindsey silently slipped her hand into her husband's and squeezed it tightly performing her first wifely duty and giving her husband the support he needed.

'Hello son.' He said to Nathan. He looked at the man who was meant to be his father, the man who had made his life a living hell ever since he was born. He was also the man who despite everything Nathan loved him because he was his father but also hated him because nothing he ever did was good enough; he had never loved him back enough to do the right thing, like not kill his own brother for an example. He had realised that he never ever wanted to be like him because that part that hated him was much, much greater than the part that loved him. And right now he was the very same man who had saved his son? What was he supposed to make of that?

'Congratulations son, she's beautiful. May you both be very happy.' Lindsey felt rather than saw her husband freeze. She could feel the tension pouring right into her.

'Get out!' he said frostily. She had never seen him that cold, it almost scared her.

'I was just making sure...' he stammered.

'I said get out.' He said again, stepping forward. Dan didn't miss the way his hands moulded into his fists, the vein in his head jutting out. He was about to said something when Nathan stepped forward besides his brother. Dan wanted to smile but figured under the circumstances it wouldn't be the right time. But it was a beautiful sight to see his boys like that, standing united against a common enemy, something they had managed all on their own despite having him as a father.

Lucas was seething! Of all people in the world, why did it have to be him? He had taken away from him the only father he had ever known!

'You head him, there is the door.' Nathan commanded.

'No!' Jamie cried springing free from his mother. 'I want him to stay, he is my friend.' He insisted. Haley gasped in dismaying shooting her estranged husband a look that told him that she clearly blamed him for this too.

Of all the people that he would have wanted his son to form an instant bond with, his grandfather was not one of them. He opened his mouth to object, to let Jamie down gentle, although what he was going to say he had no idea. He made it a point not to lie to his son but what could he tell him...'you can't hang out with your grandfather because he is a cold blooded murderer?' way to traumatise the kid. Either way Dan beat him to it. He crouched down to his grandson's level taking his hand and Nathan had the strongest urge to rip it off him. 'I can't right now little man, I have to go, maybe later okay.' He said the last part as a question to both Nathan and Haley who both looked away.

'Okay.' Jamie was clearly not pleased but he accepted it already looking forward to seeing his grandfather next. As soon as he closed the door Nathan spun around and hightailed it to the kitchen indicating that Nathan should follow. 'What?' he growled out louder than he had intended. He was tired, it had been a long day and he didn't need Haley having another go at him.

'I can't do this anymore.'

'Do what?' he ran his hand down his face trying to avert exhaustion. All he wanted right now was to hold his boy and never let go, save the fighting for tomorrow.

'This, you and me, and Dan. I'm tired Nathan!' Nathan sighed.

'We'll work this out Haley; we are just going through a rough patch.'

'Yeah well that rough patch nearly cost me my son, and to top it off, it brought your murderous father into our lives again!'

'Haley...'

'Everything is a constant battle with you, and I'm done fighting or trying to change you. Coz you will never change.'

'But I have changed!'

'No you haven't, you are still the same and I could have taken anything from you Nathan. I have taken everything from you, but I will not take adultery!'

'I have never...'

'I want a divorce.' She said so quietly that he wasn't sure he heard her right but looking at her serious face she knew that she had heard every word.

'You don't mean that Haley we can work this out. After everything we've been through together, Jamie...' she couldn't just end things just like that. They were a family, the only family he had, they meant the world to him!'

'Don't make this any harder than it already is Nathan, I'm done, we are done.' She walked out living him standing there unable to fight the tears that were stinging his eyes.

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A/N okay next chapter up. I know it had very little with Peyton and Lucas or where this story is going but I wanted to explain about Nathan as he will be very important to Peyton, platonic wise obviously. Plus things are about to get shady for Leyton in the next update and Besides I wasn't really a big Haley fan in S5. Please review.

LeytonFan4Eva x


	4. Chapter 4 When Pain Is All You Got

In the half-light Peyton looked like the shadow she'd become. Hunched over the baggage she could be anybody, and in a way she guessed she was. She should've know better than to say someday to his proposal and now she was paying he price. She'd thought that what they had was unbreakable, and that their love was so strong that even waiting another year wouldn't of broken it. But when she had woken up in that hotel room alone it was shattered into fragments more numerous than the stars. She wanted to beg, plead, get down on her knees and tell him that they were worth fighting for, that their love had meaning, but she knew that it was too late. And no matter what she said it would only push him further away.

She didn't even know what day it was anymore, she had lost count and days were starting to merge into one another. But night after night she found herself here with her best friend Jack, the only one who actually understood her. Oh but what a man he was, the only man she could trust, the only man who wouldn't let her down. She lifted another shot and downed it quick and fast relishing the way it burned down her throat. She tilted the half empty bottle filling the small shot glass. With a flick of the wrist and a tilt of the head the contents were gone where the half of that bottle had disappeared to. She slammed the glass down with satisfaction.

She was glad that the whole Jamie situation had blown over, but now all that remained in the waking was her broken heart. And drowning out her sorrows was the only way to make it stop. Lucas was on his honey moon and god knows when he would be back. When he first left she would describe her heartache like an insatiable fire that burnt all the oxygen in her body leaving her listless and empty. But now it was more like a thin layer of ice and bitterness, cooling her insides, a gentle reminder of the pain that came before and a warning not to stoke that fire again. They say once bitten, twice shy, but for her it's more like forever shy. She couldn't see herself putting her heart out there again, she didn't think it could survive another inferno.

'How long has she been here this time?' asked Nathan as he lent against the bar. Owen glanced at the brunette in question shaking his head, 'since five. Same time everyday for the past two weeks. She's a mess, your brother's a dick Nate.'

'I know that much, but why are you still serving her man, don't you think she's had enough?' he said disapprovingly.

'I'm a bartender not an AA sponsor.' Owen said coolly. Nathan glared at him shocked. He knew that this guy wasn't an ass, so why was he acting like it?

'You of all people should know what alcohol does to your life.' Nathan pointed out.

'Look no offense, i'm not sure your somebody who should be given that speech to me, some people learn better from their mistakes than being told. Maybe if you spoke to your brother and told him to come back and see what his done then maybe he could save her from this' He picked up another wine glass polishing it furiously.

'Look man I didn't come here to fight with you, I just want you to stop serving her. She's my best friend and I hate seeing her like this' Owen shot him a hard look.

'Relax, after the first night I've been diluting it, a lot.' He remembered the first night that the blonde had come to his bar. By the time she had left she had been legless, throwing up all over the place. Owen had to carry her all the way to Brooke's. When she came back the next night after downing half a bottle, Owen had tried to take it away from her; he still had the cut right above his eye from her response to that one. On the third night, as soon as she sat on the bar ordering her usual – brother jack, he had diluted it. The first four shots were the real thing, after that it was 50/50 of jack and water. When she hadn't seemed to notice he had done it since. He had tried to take care of her as best as he could, bit seeing the disappointed look on his best friend's face made him feel like scum none the less. He knew what alcohol did to you, but he also knew that when you were feeling really low and felt like was the only option, there was nothing anyone could do to make you stop.

'Okay well...I think it's time I take her home, besides Lucas is back tomorrow and I have a feeling that's going to make her go off the wagon' Nate shook his head turning towards her. He didn't even want to think about that. And he had to admit that Owen was right. She was in a bad place right now, and who knows what could happen to her with her defences down.

'At least here we can look after her.' Owen was saying.

'Yeah you are right.' He said grudgingly.

'Owen!' Peyton shouted lifting the bottle and looking through the tiny hole of the bottle as if playing hide and go seek with the contents. 'I need a refill its empty, see where's it at?' she tilted the bottle upside down. A few heads around her turned around whispering softly between themselves.

'That's your queue Nate' Owen spoke and Nathan grunted as he made his way to Peyton.

'Hey Sawyer' He took the bottle from her hand tossed it towards Owen who caught it in one hand.

'Noooo waaay!' she slurred grabbing for it, but Nate caught her hands in his.

'I think you've had enough Sawyer' He said softly as if speaking to a child. Right now she was worse than a child.

'hmm-hmm!' she shook her head which apparently want a good idea because she tilted off balance almost falling off the chair.

'Whoa! Easy there Ace.' His arms shot out and caught her. He guessed her head was swimming like crazy right about now.

'You came.' She stated looking into his eyes but not really focusing on him. Nathan nodded. She always said that. Every day, each time he came actually.

'You knew I would.' Ever since the first time he had found her slumped over the bar he had come for her every night after that. The first few nights had just been a coincidence but after that he had come here just to check if she was here and to his disappointment she had been, religiously, every night. Without fail.

'Come on, it's time to go.' He urged trying to help her of the chair but she tried to stand her ground and failed miserably. The alcohol had stripped away all herself will and now all that left was a person who didn't even know what day it was, let alone the time. Seconds later she was collapsed against his chest. He sighed heavily as he scooped her up in his arms carrying her out the door bundling her unconscious form into his car.

Brooke heard him shuffling outside her door and rushed to open it before he had the chance to knock. Her eyes immediately went to his arms. He shrugged sadly. He just like her wished that he didn't have to be here, at least not for this reason.

'Hey Nate.' She smiled at him and held the door open for him. He made his way to Peyton's bedroom. He didn't need directions anymore. He had done this often enough.

He found her sitting on the thick rug leaning against the couch. She was starring absently into the fire seeping on a steaming mug of hot cocoa with another beside her. He lowered himself next to her taking the mug she offered him quietly. This had become their little ritual for the past two weeks. He would go to find Peyton and bring her home to find Brooke waiting for the pair of them with a cup of hot cocoa for him.

'God Nate I don't know how much more she can take.' She said starring right into the fire. He gave her a serious look and sat down beside her, she always said that and just like every other day before that he told her that he wouldn't be anywhere but here. They stayed like that, silent, starring in space like every other day. What the hell were they going to do.

'I don't think I can do this anymore.' She muttered quietly under her breath that for a moment he thought he didn't hear her right. He took her hand in his then, squeezing it comfortingly.

'I'm not strong enough, I can't... I', afraid that I'm not going to be enough for her cause I don't know what to do.' The only sign that she was crying was the tear that fell on his hand. She smiled at him apologetically quickly wiping away any signs of tears. She had always hated anybody to see her cry.

'We'll help her get through this Brooke.' He tried to sound reassuring but even he wasn't so sure. He remembered her in high school when she was going through a bad patch. She didn't seem this bad, but then again how could he know, he hadn't exactly been the ideal boyfriend to her back then.

'I could kill Luke for what his done to you' she fumed and Nathan felt himself become a little on edge. 'Um yeah...about that. Luke and Lindsey are coming home tomorrow, their coming around for family dinner. I'm lucky that Haley even invite me...I think were finally starting patch things up again' he admitted but he realized that Brooke had completely tuned that part out. He could practically see the fires of hell burning behind Brooke's eyes.

'Wait what?' she gritted out.

'Luke is coming home tomorrow' he repeated reluctantly and watched as her dark brows furrowed. 'This is gonna break her even more than she is already. I need you to keep him away from her Nate do you understand...she can't handle anymore' Brooke hissed as she stood to her feet and left the room.

Unbeknownst to the pair, from behind the door Peyton was more awake than she had ever been, sure the drunkenness had managed to snuff out her ability to use self control but it hadn't taken away her awareness. Peyton collapsed onto her bed and let the tears slide free from her eyes. Nathan and Brooke was all she had right now and she felt like every grasp she had on her life was slipping away.

Her sadness felt like a hollowness. She couldn't tell what was worse. Sometimes the hollowness was like a shell, holding in a thousand oceans of tears. Other times though it was almost like holding a thousand pieces of glass that are wedged in between her soul and body. That was how she would describe the pain. It was like she was nobody, and she didn't seem to feel like she didn't existed at all. She hated it.

She didn't know how she was suppose to deal with seeing him again after he had so thoughtlessly got married to another, and ripped her heart out in the process. It was like a never ending nightmare. A tailor made Hell.

Could she really remind herself of that same pain again?

* * *

A.N: Hey guys sorry this was so short. I have a lot going on right now, but thanks for all your feedback and Review, Review, Review!...shit is about to go down when she comes face to face with Lucas next chapter and maybe a Leyton kiss which triggers of a chain of events! Plus I have changed my name from LeytonFan4Eva to BroodyBlonds4Life!

BroodyBlonds4Life x


	5. Authors Note

Hey guys

Sorry but I had to do this, who's read the latest update of With Wreaths of Withered Flowers yet because its giving me chills and I think I'm definitely turning into a fan girl for this new Leyton fic that has come on the scene. I just thought I'd give it a heads up since its a great read and I'd recommend it highly. So read and review it and tell the new talent DeTurge what you think because IT'S FREAKING AWESOME!

Broodyblonds4life x


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